3.5 weeks down!

Things are going great and I've been having a ton of fun!  I'm down 7lbs! woot woot! *high fives*

I'm not losing as fast as I would like but people are already seeing a difference in me...I can see a difference in my face.  

More good news!  I got my new kicks! I adore them!  I'm pretty sure I couldn't be more comfy if I were wearing slippers all day!  I get up in the morning and I am excited about putting them on.  There is just something about knowing it wont hurt to get up and go that makes it easier.  My body is starting to get used to doing all the things its been going without for years. lol  Thank goodness! 

The other great news is that I have been cooking up a STORM and it is all healthy and I used fresh ingredients to make it all!  I'm so proud!  Ryan got me a kickass blender and food processor by Ninja and I think I have used it at least once a day since. :)   

 Homemade red beans and rice with shredded chicken and salsa in a burrito with a side of homemade pita chips and some yummy homemade guacamole!  Strawberry and peach smoothie for dessert!

Leftover red beans and rice that I spiced up (literally) and added some browned turkey sausage to make homemade Jambalya!  Also made a cast iron skillet cornbread!  It was sooo delish!  Happy Fat Tuesday!

For these blueberry muffins I used an old family recipe for Nana Bread (banana bread) and used blueberries instead!  Ryan LOVED them! :) 

Valentines dinner was a super yummy Turkey Burger. I added some ranch seasonings, onion and Worcestershire sauce so it stayed moist.  Used a whole wheat bun and made some delish season fries that I baked in the oven! Ryan was so impressed he flat out told me this is the first Turkey Burger he has ever actually ENJOYED!  He had 2! 


So all in all I would say that things are awesome!  The weather keeps getting better and better and being outside is becoming a part of our day again. *We cannot WAIT for warm weather and the freedom of summer!*

Week 2

Week 2 and Im still going! 

First of all thats basically a record for me. lol I have a terrible time with diets and an even harder time with being active consecutively. lol  

Ready for the big news???!!! 5 lbs lost baby! I weighed in this morning and it was basically the best part of my day! ( Im feeling super sick today....head congestion and body aches. :( )

I have had a pretty easy time with the diet that I've chosen to stick to. I've also been doing a ton of reading up on healthy options of our favorite meals so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on things. (Which is why I usually fail at dieting!)  I haven't cut things out so much as I've been a stickler to my portion size. I still allow myself to have a bite of something that I know I love....I just don't sit down with the whole bag of chips or a huge plate of food at dinner.  

Ryan has been pretty awesome through the whole thing and is even enjoying some of the meal changes. I think that's been a huge life saver too.   It helps that he loves fruits and veggies too.  I made baked haddock for dinner the other night and I think he was the most excited I have ever seen him. lol He ate a whole lb of it! lol 

As for being active....I do have to say I've slacked a bit.  I still do SOMETHING every day but I haven't been walking like I should.  I need to get new sneakers (mine are giving me blisters).  So I've been doing inside stuff more which feels a little more restrictive.  Turns out I'm not very coordinated. lol I don't think I could explain to you all how painfully uncoordinated I am. lol  

I will say I had a great time with Heather at her gym with some of the Bangor Roller Derby girls.  I had a great time, even though I thought I was going to die!  Holy cow that trainer was kickin my butt!  I don't think I've ever been more sore than when I was done working with her. My thighs were literally on fire! (Side note: Ryan also hurt his hip that day and was walking equally as funny as I was....I thought I going to die from laughing about what people would think!)  So I limped around for a few days....and I felt great!  I'm so proud of myself for sticking to it and working through the death threats running through my head for the trainer the whole time....for working through the death wishes for myself bc it hurt so bad....I knew I had to do as much as I could do....I would pass out if I had to but I was going to work out if it killed me or not. 


So my plan is to get a membership as soon as I can get the money saved up....blah. lol And to get new shoes! :)  


I just keep thinking to myself how important this is. How much it means to the rest of our lives.  We want to get married someday....we want to be parents.  I don't want to be an old mom and have no energy to hang out with my kids. I want to be the mom that might be a little older but shes healthy enough to still get outside and play.  I want to look at my wedding pictures and not think to myself about how Ryan married a woman who weights more than he does.  I want to be able to go shopping and have clothes FIT ME. lol There is nothing worse than getting to a store with hopes of finding a cute new top or jeans and realizing that you only have 3-4 choices bc you don't fit into the clothes. Its depressing. I don't want to be depressed. I wanna stay happy and be the person I KNOW I can be.




So far so good! lol  And I couldn't have done this without the constant support from family and friends. You guys are amazing!  Thanks so much for being my cheerleaders! :) 

Day 1...

*deep breath*  Today is the day. I'm ditching the donut I've been carrying for years and I hate to say it but I'm scared shitless! Can I do it? HOW do I do it? Where do I start? My donut has always been there for me...and here I am just ditching it!

I just weighed myself for the first time in years. I thought I was going to cry.  This may take alot more than I thought...

My starting weight

277.2 lbs

*gag* I think I just threw up in my mouth a little even putting that into writing....I don't think I'm going to chance saying it outloud just yet. :(

Ok...The worst part is over....I've admitted to myself that I finally need to get my act together.  I've been watching other people do it for years and always thought "I dont have to do that...Im comfortable with who I am."  I lied.  Im NOT comfortable.  Im miserable.  I cant even stand to look at myself in a mirror anymore.  I am 100% not the person that I want to be.  Im not the person I NEED to be to be healthy.  I cant see my feet when I stand up.  I MISS MY FEET!

Tonight when my boyfriend and I went to bed we spooned....he put his big musclely arms around me and I cringed....I didnt want him to touch my stomach.  I couldnt stand to have the man of my dreams put his hands on me.  Its time for a change and Im meeting it head on.  I want to be a woman he can be proud to show off. Someone who is comfortable in her own skin.  Someone who is healthy and makes healthy decisions.  I want to love me. 

My Goals:

• to be UNDER 200lbs
• to chose fruits and veggies 
• to drink water and ONLY water
• to exercise everyday for at least 30 mins

Your job as a reader (if anyone is actually reading this) is to always be honest with me.  I want feedback. I want support. I want advice. I want tasty foods to try.  I don't  need anything to be sugarcoated anymore and that includes my personal interactions with people.   Thank you ahead of time!

Now....wish me luck!