Day 1...

*deep breath*  Today is the day. I'm ditching the donut I've been carrying for years and I hate to say it but I'm scared shitless! Can I do it? HOW do I do it? Where do I start? My donut has always been there for me...and here I am just ditching it!

I just weighed myself for the first time in years. I thought I was going to cry.  This may take alot more than I thought...

My starting weight

277.2 lbs

*gag* I think I just threw up in my mouth a little even putting that into writing....I don't think I'm going to chance saying it outloud just yet. :(

Ok...The worst part is over....I've admitted to myself that I finally need to get my act together.  I've been watching other people do it for years and always thought "I dont have to do that...Im comfortable with who I am."  I lied.  Im NOT comfortable.  Im miserable.  I cant even stand to look at myself in a mirror anymore.  I am 100% not the person that I want to be.  Im not the person I NEED to be to be healthy.  I cant see my feet when I stand up.  I MISS MY FEET!

Tonight when my boyfriend and I went to bed we spooned....he put his big musclely arms around me and I cringed....I didnt want him to touch my stomach.  I couldnt stand to have the man of my dreams put his hands on me.  Its time for a change and Im meeting it head on.  I want to be a woman he can be proud to show off. Someone who is comfortable in her own skin.  Someone who is healthy and makes healthy decisions.  I want to love me. 

My Goals:

• to be UNDER 200lbs
• to chose fruits and veggies 
• to drink water and ONLY water
• to exercise everyday for at least 30 mins

Your job as a reader (if anyone is actually reading this) is to always be honest with me.  I want feedback. I want support. I want advice. I want tasty foods to try.  I don't  need anything to be sugarcoated anymore and that includes my personal interactions with people.   Thank you ahead of time!

Now....wish me luck!